A glimpse into my world

I've been getting this sort of thing for almost 20 years now. I barely even notice it any more. But it's kind of interesting, a bit.

Note: this is only the tip of the iceberg.

The Formspring page linked above represents just a fraction of the weekly drivelanche that pours in to various areas of the WoS empire from some of the more dysfunctional corners of the internet. Much of it gets filtered out one way or another, and I reduced the volume of tenth-rate-Mighty-Boosh nonsense quite a bit a couple of years back when I, well, let's call it "streamlined" the WoS Forum and shed some of its more tedious elements in the process.

But there are still people with lives so apparently empty and worthless that they'll spend hour after hour of their one and only time on Earth sat in front of a computer – even in a beautiful warm and sunny June with a World Cup on – spewing out screeds and screeds of this furious impotent, barely-literate rage at somebody they've never met. It's a cry for attention and help, unfortunately directed at someone who couldn't care less.

As a rule, I come in from passing a pleasant afternoon in the park, spend eight or nine seconds glancing down the list and then click "Delete all". But just this once I thought I'd save some of it (I've deleted twice as much) for posterity and share it with you, because I'm too busy today for a proper blog.

What's the most dribblingly deranged and prolonged child's tantrum anyone with a learning disability has ever directed at you because you once said something they didn't agree with about a videogame 10 years ago, viewers?


27 Responses to “A glimpse into my world”

  1. Irish Al Says:

    Are they all from  the same person? I want a Mexan hat.

  2. I've never been on the receiving end of anything like the amount of bewildering half-baked idiocy that the nation's cretins seem determined to try to upset you with. (They don't know you very well, do they? Ironically, given their attempts to get oh-so terribly personal.) I did once, however, become the focus of prolonged ire from a small but persistent minority of morons on an art gallery site I attempted to contribute some pictures to, because I (politely, I thought) declined their requests to draw pornographic material. They took this as a personal slight, and proceeded to launch a wearying campaign via private notes and gallery messages to bully me off the site and generally exposed as the sort of snooty, snotty, holier-than-thou bastard who won't draw cartoons with genitals when someone he doesn't know tells him to. A few weeks later the site imploded due to a sulky hissy fit among the webmasters. I was genuinely relieved.
    The Internet: Helping people with grievous mental illnesses scream into the void since 1994.

  3. I did chuckle at "how many willies have you seen, telly doesn't count", but this page somehow looks likes your admin page, allowing me to reply to these etc?  Is that right?

  4. Dunno – give it a try and see what happens…

  5. "Beadlehanded"? Is that a slightly offensive reference to deceased fun-monger Jeremy Beadle? I'm so using that.

  6. To be fair, a television show featuring you and J. Minter on a caravanning holiday in the Peak District would make for excellent viewing.

  7. Irish Al Says:

    In a Father Ted-style tiny caravan in the pissing rain surrounded by cows, with only a Grandstand 'Scramble' handheld with rapidly-depleting batteries for entertainment. And a pack of cards with two missing.

  8. Well, the entertainment would be limited. I'd be inside playing Scramble and he'd be outside interfering with the animals.

  9. I must admit, I like "beadlehanded", but my god, what a bunch of bellends.

  10. Does this person ever post comments to this blog?  Or do you delete those as well?

  11. I don't think they do. Very few comments get deleted.

  12. Some of these are kind of funny. Still a massive waste of time though. He's obviously read everything you've ever done which is strange when he dislikes you this much.

  13. Just …wow.

  14. Stickleprick Says:

    Hey Stu don't you delete hundreds of comments.
    including this one

  15. Looks like someone needs to see their doctor about some therapy and medication. Borderline stalker behaviour hardly seems to be the best position to be in when you are trying to call them sad because they reviewed a game or mentioned a sweet in a way you disagreed with.
    Maybe it is someone working for Team 17 or similar still holding a grudge after all these years…

  16. The odd thing is, I can't even tell what it actually is they're so angry about. They've made scores and scores of Formspring posts (several more today), but no clues as to why they're so bitterly obsessed. But hey, it keeps them off the streets.

  17. You didn't happen to scorn some lover or run over someone's dog while cackling gleefully and leaving copies of your Formspring contact details at the scene of the incident? Easy done. It is hard to imagine how you could inspire such an enduring hate and obsession talking about games and sweets and the odd bit of gossip or trivia. But then you hear about people being murdered because someone didn't like the way they looked at them or something equally trivial. It takes all sorts.
    It's hard to imagine someone reading a review score, possibly nearly twenty years ago in AP or somesuch and vowing revenge for not giving their favourite game or one they had made a few percent more – especially when they do it by spending their years posting countless strange and mildly-offensive comments to you. Perhaps after a couple more years of this they'll sigh to themselves and decide it is finished and a job well done? They may have set some kind of sentence early on (ten years hard labour mild annoyance), maybe even with parole options for good behaviour.

  18. xbendystevex Says:

    I once had an anonymous fromspring comment that proclaimed me to be "the creepiest guy on tumblr."

    I took that as a compliment frankly. The commenter wasn't so happy when I pointed out that IP address are recorded for all comments, thus making it absurdly simple for The Creepiest Guy On Tumblr to post the person's real name address and phone number all over er… tumblr.  I find you have to make an example of these retards.
    Happy days indeed.

  19. Uh? Where does Formspring record IP addresses?

  20. xbendystevex Says:

    Does it not any more? This was a little while back, before it was formspring.me, the change may have come then. It used to display the IP address at the bottom of the message. It's a shame if they've removed that.

  21. It wouldn't be that hard to get hold of and confirm if they insisted on messaging you through other mediums too.

  22. Irish Al Says:

    Surely an IP isn't much use unless you can get the ISP in question to tell you who the had the lease on it at the time. If posts aren't from somewhere with a static IP (like a business) that is.

  23. xbendystevex Says:

    Luckily for The Creepiest Guy On Tumblr it was easy to work out once I knew where the IP was roughly located. It had to be someone who was 'following' my blog and these people give away enough about themselvces that it was a matter of 20 mins with Google and a people finder. A very enjoyable 20 mins it was too.

  24. Al, you'd be amazed how many people are stupid enough to send abuse through work and uni emails that identify them personally or static IPs that you can trace.

  25. You should post more of these.  So amusing.

    (Reposted for proper grammar.)

  26. Hah! Must be your old mate Bruce.

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